Thursday, June 26, 2008

Redneck fun


Greetings Y'all!

Okay, so the Bronco project was fun, but it's over now. A few months back a friend of mine acquired a 1979 Chevy 3/4 ton 4x4. It has 8 inches of suspension lift, 2 inches of body lift and it's sitting on 35inch tires. Because there is so much lift, the 35 inch tires look kind of small. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I have a redneck streak running down my back much like a skunk's white fur, so as you can imagine I instantly fell in love.

I know, I was brought up a Ford boy and I stayed true to that for a long time. But this truck is just cool. Sure, it's rough, but it's everything I need for what I wanted to build the Bronco for.

Anyway, three days ago I was let down. My buddy had sold the truck to his wifes cousin. The person that bought it is maybe a few french fries short of a happy meal and he makes me look very white collar, so I figured the truck was meant for him. Sad to see it go, but happy to have the temptation out of my life. Then the phone rang.

I was on my way home from work last night and my buddy calls me. He says "Hey, Jimmy's over here and he wants to talk to you about your Bronco."

A little back lash here on the week. Dena and I live in a house with an old oil buring furnace. It works, though it's not that efficient and with the price of fuel I have been slightly concerned about this coming winter. I was looking through the paper in the "freebies" section and some idiot was giving away a tank with some diesel in it. I called, and it turns out there was over 110 gallons of furnace diesel in it. All for free. That is about $400 worth of fuel for nothing. So as you can see I'm already having a great week.

Okay, so I'm on my way to my friends house thinking "he's not going to trade." My Bronco is stock, well used, the paint is falling off. No one in their right mind would trade that truck straight across for my Bronco. Did I mention that his redneck streak makes mine non existant?

I get there and he asks a couple of stupid questions (typical guy kicking the tires kind of thing) like "does it run?". He's a little slow I'm thinking. So finally I just ask him "What are you thinking here? Do you want the Bronco?" and he said "I'll trade you."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth I was ready to jump on it. I wanted to hand him the title, build sheet on the transmission and send him on his way. But I couldn't do it. I had to play this out a little so that he didn't back out due to my uncontained excitement.

So I took a few minutes to think it over. I called Dena and told her what was going on and got her blessing (anyone married knows if Momma aint happy, aint no body happy), and then said "well, I guess I could do that. As long as I can take my CB out of the Bronco". :-) This dumb ass actually said yes. He not only said yes, he started piling his crap into the bronco before he had even heard it start.

Some might see a red flag at this point. What is so wrong with the truck that he's that anxious to get out of it. I've driven it. This thing handles like a train. It corners like it's on rails, but will tip if you go TOO fast. The interior is trashed, the body is rough, but the running gear (the expensive stuff to fix) is all new. With the exception of the engine. It's an old, tired 350, but you can "refresh" a 350 in your back yard with basic (and I do mean basic) hand tools. You just about have to have a degree in engineering to work on the Bronco.

At this point I was feeling a little bad. Not to see the Bronco go, but because I really felt like I was ripping this guy off. I don't know why, but I just didn't trust the Bronco any further than I could throw it. So I told the guy to get in, and I'd take him for a ride in it to show him... well basically what it was. I took him up the highway and down some back roads. He was drooling on himself. It was really sad. He had it in his head so far that he could see no faults in this thing.

So we got back to the house, and I said okay bud, it's got a tail light warranty. If you don't know what that is, you obviously have never bought a used car from a "shady" character. Ask your fathers, they'll know. He got in it and drove away.

A tear fell down my cheak. Just a single tear. It was brought on by the hysterical laughture that was pooring out of my body. I could make twice what I was asking for the Bronco by parting this truck out. Or, I can use it for the purpose it was built for and go bang it against trees (not literally).

In the picture I would like to add a point of reference. Dena is 5'1", and Jarrett is 5'5" ish. The top of the bed rails are taller than the top of my Jeep Cherokee.

2 comments:

The Buck's said...

Oh Matt, you crack me up!! I saw a yellow duster on the way to work this morning and thought of you and Dan...ah, good times.

Enjoy your new truck!

Amanda said...

Honey, you sound like you are in redneck heaven! :)